stim check, day 3.5

we had our 2nd appt for an u/s and blood work yesterday. according to the ultrasound tech my uterus looked fine, i had 3 follicles <10 on my right ovary and 5 follicles <10mm on lefty. i would have been annoyed with the small number of follicles and my underachieving ovaries, but the tech said they don't get hung up on the number of follicles at this appt, it's more to make sure that i am responding and that my E2 level is ok. my E2 level was a shitty 47, up from 15 before starting stims. this level isn't great, as a matter of fact, it's borderline worthless.

so, next appt is scheduled for friday, which will be day 8 of stims. i just called the IVF nurse back today b/c i am still freaking out about the low E2 level and she said they will decide if this cycle will be cancelled on friday or if we need to adjust meds. i asked yesterday after the call about the E2 level and again today if they wanted to change my meds now and the answer both times was a big fat 'no and please stop bothering me, you crazy IVF girl, i've got people with a real chance at success to deal with here.'

i also tried to get some info about acupuncture since my RE's office has a in-house acupuncturist. the useless receptionist was no help and i feel dumber after talking to her. she also eluded that i an extremely irresponsible IVF patient b/c i should have been doing acupuncture this whole time. duh. here's a fun sample of what i dealt with for 8 minutes before i had to hang up and bang my head on the table.

question 1: when should i get my first acupuncture treatment?
shitty useless answer: you should have already had it. many people come here for months before they start IVF.

question 2: what is the recommended # of times to have acupuncture when undergoing IVF?
shitty useless answer: it really depends on what your problem is. that will be discussed at your first appt.

question 3: how exactly does acupuncture help, other than increase bloodflow and decrease stress?
shitty useless answer: it really depends on what your problem is. that will be discussed at your first appt.

question 4: will i be able to schedule an appt when i find out when my ET will be since it's kinda last minute?
shitty useless answer: it really depends on what your problem is. that will be discussed at your first appt. we'll try to fit you in.

so, super. all i know after that conversation is that the lady answering the phones is a useless bitch, each session is $100, i am already a bad mother according to her. she would probably blame my shitty E2 on my lack of acupuncture from age 5 up til now. i gave up on having acupuncture at that place other than the day of ET if we make it that far. i will have an acupuncture treatment right before the ET and then again right after. in the meantime i will be having acupuncture by a far nicer lady that is closer to my house anyway. first appt is today.

as far as any side effects i am having - the lupron has made me excruciatingly tired from the beginning and continues to do so. i also have a weird constant headache that never really goes away, but gets better/worse intermittently. the gonal f causes more hot flashes than i had w/ the lupron and slight irritability. my skin is wicked dry, and i'm not sure who the culprit is on that one. i also seem to have some laxative effects from the gonal-f which i don't recall from taking it before. but, i see it as win/win. i'm getting some (hopefully) good follicles and possibly losing some weight. bring it.

tiffanie 1, IVF 1 (shitty E2)

Suppression check, check.

we had our first ultrasound this morning to see how i responded to the 10u of lupron. my uterus and lining looked great and i had a few antral follicles on each ovary which was "just perfect." they want estrodial levels under 100 and mine was 15. so far i am kicking IVF's ass. tonight is my last night of 10u of lupron, then tomorrow i switch to 150u gonal-f in the morning and 150u in the evening and decrease my lupron to 5u in the evening.

as for the exciting news i mentioned a few days ago, my husband and i were selected to participate in a documentary on infertility and the different routes to having a family. we are obviously doing the IVF part, but there will also be a part on surrogacy and adoption. so, the camera crew went with us to our appt and did some taping at our house. they will be with us for all of the big appts and the pregnancy test. they found me through my blog back in the fall, but i didn't think that we were going to do IVF until april/may and that was too late for production. then one of the producers happened to email me again right before starting lupron to ask how things were and where we were at in out treatments. since we moved things up it was perfect timing for them. how freakin' cool is that??!!

that's it for the updates. next ultrasound and blood work isn't until monday the 2nd. the IVF nurse thought that my retrieval would probably be march 9,10 or 11th, but obviously depends on how i respond to the meds. holy hell!


tiffanie 1, IVF 0

lupron is like a lame ass prom date

it's day 8 of my lupron injections and besides a few hot flashes, wicked tiredness and my inability to give myself an injection without hesitating every time, it's not too bad. where are my crazy hormone rage filled fits? including tonight i have 3 more 10u sq injections before my ultrasound and blood work on thursday.

i will have some exciting news about a project that will educate the general public about infertility and the different paths that couple's take to become parents in a few days:)

and, whoever left me the comment/assvice about stress affecting fertility - yea, i got it. we have been ttc for almost 3 yrs. i worked 3 days a week for the entire first year of ttc and had not yet started graduate school. i didn't even know what stess was and had no luck.

ps - welcome ICLW:)

conversations that will make me talk bad about you

convo #1.
me: blah, blah, blah to a friend about my upcoming IVF
eavesdropping asshole: i know someone who did IVF and it didn't work.
me: well, it doesn't always work the first time.
ea: yea, they did it twice and it didn't work. what a waste. why even bother? you people should just adopt.
me: (snarl.) us people? what exactly is us people? and, thanks by the way for raining shit all over my IVF parade when i wasn't even talking to you. would you like to next talk about how i'll probably fail both of my boards in the summer and if by some small chance i do pass, i'll probably never in a million years find a job that i want? huh? would you like that?
ea: blank stare. blink. blink.

convo #2
me: having a convo w/ a friend, general stuff, IVF, etc.
retarded whore: ohhhhh, are you gonna put 8 in like that one lady?
me: (instant seething rage.) no. we. will. not. we are putting 2 embryo's in. do not ever again think that you are funny or clever.
rh: oh, i was just asking.
me: you make me want to claw off my own face, but since i am too pretty it will have to be yours. and, here's a question for you - do you have a corkscrew so i can give myself a lobotomy in hopes of removing the memory of all the stupid things people like you say?

convo #3
me: hey, i just wanted to give you a heads up for when i might need to be off of work for a couple of days since you are doing the schedule.
scheduling nightmare: oh. you mean for.........?
me: yea. i can at least give you a window, since it's our busiest time of the year, but no exact dates yet.
sn: you really should keep that to yourself. you shouldn't be telling people.
me: yea, see, i'm telling you out of professional courtesy. not because we are friends or i want your stellar advice that you are always handing out.
sn: well, someone here went through IVF and told everyone and it didn't work out too well for them if you know what i mean.
me: no, i don't know what you mean. did telling everyone cause their uterus to fall out? and, i'm not telling everyone. you only get to know by default because you do the schedule. don't think for a second that i want you to know. and, do me a favor, can you smother yourself with that ridiculous turtleneck of yours that you always insist on wearing? thanks.

and, to the slut-whore-c-u-next-tuesday who told me i should re-evaluate myself and change my blog - go fuck yourself. i didn't ask for your opinion or approval. you mean less than nothing to me. you are an ignorant cow and for the 4th time in case you still aren't clear: i am doing IVF to get pregnant, not because i am pregnant. how about you go re-evaluate yourself? like on some railroad tracks. or in a lake wearing cement shoes.

lets get this (IVF) party started!

Obligatory IVF meds picture:





So that's pretty much all of the meds i'll be taking in the next few weeks. I'm excited to get going. 1st lupron shot is tonight @ 9p. i'll be taking 10u sq every night until i hear otherwise from the RE. first ultrasound is scheduled for 2/26.

so far we are excited and hopeful that this will work. i've been here before though, with each new test, each new round of IUI, i had this excited hopefulness and a feeling that whatever we were doing was going to work. i hope we are right this time. i'm so tired of being wrong.

my most sincerest apologies

to all who heard my wrath for talking shit about the mother of the octuplets, or, winner of the Most Giant Uterus in the World competition. last week when everyone was talking smack about IVF and infertility treatments i was not shy in educating the fertiles of the world that "no responsible Dr. in the US would ever transfer 8 healthy embryo's into a women. ever. she must have done IUI and unfortunately that is a risk that you take." i mean, we infertiles have to stick together, right?

my bad.

imagine my surprise when i find out that indeed, this super-slut did undergo IVF, which is why she has so many (6) children before the newest 8 just came along via FET. what the fuck, people? this stupid whore has no job, no husband/partner to help her with her baker's dozen +1, no house, no nothing. except that is, plans on getting everything paid for by the government and tv deals and so on. how in the name of all that is holy did she even afford IVF/FET to begin with?

to make it up to those that i yelled at for being uneducated insensitive asshole's, i vow to punch that bitch right in her perky ovaries if i ever run into her. exactly how i punch her is yet to be determined-a swift punch with 1 fist and brass knuckles, a good old fashioned 1 - 2 punch in each ovary or maybe just a roundhouse kick in that general area.

satan moonlights as a photographer

picture ID's are nothing short of the work of the devil. i hate them. i always look horrific.

i had to get one last week for one of the hospitals that i am doing clinical at. either satan was working the photo ID area on this particular day or someone has a really bad sense of humor. and a knack for photo shopping pictures.

that is what i am blaming the newest atrocity that bears my name anyway. i look like i need a blood transfusion for one. also, the camera added about 35 lbs and 2 extra chins. and the most offending thing about my picture - my nostrils. they are so enormous that it looks as though i could snort my body weight in cocaine in 1 breath.

i can hear my prospective employers now. "yea, she does a great job, but she's too much of a liability, what with her apparent need of continuous blood transfusions and all." or "wow, did you see her giant nostrils in her photo? maybe we should get her some rehab for her nose candy addiction."

gah. oh well. i suppose if the pharmacy keeps fucking with me about my IVF meds i won't have to worry about getting a job in a few months. i'll be in jail because i single handedly beat the shit out of all who have caused me undue stress and anxiety with their own arms.