Friday, July 25, 2008

alternate career choices

being infertile and a pediatric RN persuing a masters degree as a pediatric NP sucks. it sucks way more than anything i can think of. so, i've been thinking about a career change. get out while i still can, before i sink more time, money, blood, sweat and tears into this. here's what i have come up with.

1. MTV VJ. sounds like fun, right? i could sit around the pool all day and get drunk and watch people make asses of themselves while listening to music and work on my tan. well, as tan as one can get while wearing a moo-moo to hide their fat ass.
2. bus driver. as in greyhound, obviously not school bus. actually, there, that would be worse than what i do now - school bus driver. note to self: cancel plans to hurl self from heli-pad at work tonight.
3. horse wrangler. i'm not even sure what this is. but, i like horses. it could work.
4. hermit. away from all annoying pregnant people, cute babies and toddlers. sounds fantastic. although, i'd have to skip the living in caves part. bugs make me want to rip my throat out. perhaps agoraphobic would be more up my alley than hermit.
5. pole dancer/stripper. it's good exercise and it would eliminate those annoying trips to the ATM machine. also a pretty sure bet that babies and children would not be around. would also give me a reason to finally get some nice squishy new bewbies.
6. ninja. i think i would be good at this. i have alot of pent up anger and frustration that i would be happy to take out on anyone. i am also extremely stealthy. i like the color black. i like shiny things like those throwing stars. sold.

34 comments:

Marie said...

OOH You could be a rodeo clown!!

Murgdan said...

I will sooooo be a ninja with you. First you'll have to whip my fat ass into shape though.

Also I can see how it must be difficult for you--being a peds person. You may or may not have noticed I went the complete opposite...ANP. Adults Only here. :-)

edie & ella said...

definately Ninja ---- no question about it. Since you like black and all. Sam

And Baby Makes Three said...

nice change of pace from the baby blogs....thanks for the laughs( :

bendingbackwards said...

Wonderful change of pace during my visits to the ICLW blogs.

A visitor from ICLW.

Dreams Come True said...

Ooooh, you've got some GREAT choices there!

How about a snake charmer!! Just think - you'd be a musician, and get to spend time with exotic creatures!!

(ICLW)

momofonefornow said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog.

I vote for the VJ gig. That would be sweet!

nh said...

Hermit always sounds good to me!

(ICLW)

andrea said...

i would totally go with the stripper or the ninja variety, ya know? slick.

Sassy said...

I really hope #5's don't regularly find children in their work place. That would be really disturbing.

Just Me. said...

I so hear you on this one! Infertility robbed me of doing what I used to do best. DAMNIT!

I can't quite decide between MTV VJ or Ninja.

Jen said...

Um...prostitution is clearly missing from this list. And also? Street pharmacist. Both very profitable.

From this list, I pick bus driver. Then you could get bus driver ass.

Also, weren't you just bitching about the word verification? You have it too, ya know.

edie & ella said...

now that ICLW is over and I have more time I just went back through your blog from the start -- OMG my sides hurt.... you are one funny chic. I needed the laught today after my A-hole husband acted like an A-hole today.......thanks for the laughs. SAM

Mindy said...

VJ during the day...Ninja at night. Thats my vote. Listening to you make fun of people on live television might actually make me tune in to MTV again! Although if you're really serious about horse wrangling...we have a three year old gelding that is WILD! You should come give him a try. I could use the entertainment!

JenM said...

You totally need to be a Ninja Stripper. You know, live a double life. But which one would be by day, and which one by night?

andrea said...

i vote that you need to update your blog - and to help you do it, i tagged you in mine! ;)

Jaymee said...

try them all, but in the order you wrote them. it is important to be a hermit first so you can hone your super cool ninja skills.

seriously, i can't imagine doing what you do. i have a hard enough time going to the grocery store.

(ICLW)

Raggedy Ann said...

I read somewhere that strippers make more money during ovulation. How about that?

RAxx (ICLW)

~Jess said...

I think a ninja would be a great idea! I noticed that you haven't posted in a while, and I hope everything is all right with you and your husband.


ICLW-August

Kristin said...

OMG...I love this post. Can I come be a ninja with you? I knew there was a reason I've been watching all those episodes of Ninja Warrior on G4TV.

BTW, lots of {{{hugs}}}. Being an ICU nurse is such a hard job and going through IF while doing it must been heartbreaking.

(Aug ICLW)

Murgdan said...

You haven't posted in awhile...you ok??? Will ICLW bring you back? I miss your posts!

Amy said...

Ha! Thanks for the laugh. I think I would go with Hermit or Ninja.

ICLW

christina said...

i'm thinking your best bet is going to be mtv vj or hermit. definitely NOT stripper because then you'll have to deal with all of the trashy 20-year olds who have 3 kids by 3 different guys...and well, we all know how much we hate *those* girls!

iclw

averyopenbook said...

Here from IComLeavWe.
I say go for horse wrangler, although I too have no idea what that is.

CappyPrincess said...

The song says "You gotta have a gimmick"...

Maybe you could be a ninja horse wrangling pole dancer? THAT would be unique.

In Due Time said...

Coming over from ICLW...


If I had to choose one.. I'd want to be a pole dancer! Heh.

Kim said...

Too funny! I would choose Ninja!

Lost in Space said...

I'm thinking ninja hermit. It just sounds safer to do in the privacy of your own home. (:

Cece said...

Hermit would be my frist choice. But I bet I could only hack it for like a weekend.

My DH's best friends girlfriend (who I end up spending a lot of time with) is a Doc at a NICU. Not a good person to be around when you are 25 week prego with your IVF baby. I'll say things like - I'm 23 weeks - hurrah for viabilty... and she'll say - really 25 weeks has a much better chance. You should see the looks my DH gives her sometimes.

kccat said...

Hermit, pole dancer and ninja are all great professions. :) Great blog.

here from ICLW

Tyler said...

I vote for ninja. Think of all the respect for being stealthy and lethal. :)

Jenn said...

I had to laugh at the first comment. When I was still working as a nurse (quit, hated it) I always said I was going to quit and become a rodeo clown. Or a race car driver. (ICLW)

kirke said...

Who wants to stop at the ATM all the time? I think your new career choices sound great!

ICLW

seriously? said...

Here from ICLW. I have to say when I read your bio, my first thought was wow she's brave.

Avoid pole dancing most of them are single moms. Go for bus driver, then be a bad a** buss driver.