trolls and hobbits - oh my

for some reason grad school requires you to have several classes where you must work in groups. i find it ludicrous and extremely annoying. i'm almost 30 for cripes sake, i don't feel like i need to bond with other's over paper writing and project planning.

i've never been good at forced groups. i first found this out in kindergarten when i was forced to sit next to mark the extremely fat kid who breathed all gross, ate glue and had 2 different colored eyes; john, the token smelly booger-picker/eater; and christine, the ratty looking girl whose mother had not yet taught her daughter, or possibly learned herself, about the importance of shampoo and a comb. i was moved after 1 week of refusing to participate in any activities with them b/c, ewww, gross. (1)

then again when i was 8 i was reminded of this fact when i was kicked out of girl scouts after 3 weeks, which was totally fine by me. apparently i have been a smart ass most of my life as i was booted for making fun of some stupid ceremony that we had to do, refusing to hold hands and sing songs in a circle and probably having a general disdain for the entire organization. i only joined b/c we got to get out of class early on some days and it was easy access to my beloved somoas. (2)

which leads me to now. i now have to work w/ 4 other people that i was randomly assigned to (with the exception of 1) to write numerous papers and conjure up all kinds of research crap and plans for implementing new program plans based on what our research shows and blah blah blah. 2 of the girls are straight up useless, lazy dickheads and another, the troll, is a condescending asshole. i understand that she is in a constant state of pissy-ness, what with God making her so ugly and stupid and the fact that pro-active was clearly not an option for her 50 years ago, but really bitch? you're going to send me an email and tell me to use my g-damn spell check b/c your fucking hobbit husband read our paper and said i misspelled words? fuck you and your hobbit. i did use spell check you stupid bitch. had you read the paper yourself instead of having your husband do it while you filed down your horns, you would see that spell check is unfamiliar with much of the medical terminology that was used, as is someone who forages for their food under rotting tree bark and piles of shit. you are a lazy worthless cow. and your disgusting face looks like you belong in a wax museum that lost its air conditioning. oh, and ps - what the fuck is up with your hair, dude. flock of seagulls ring a bell?

1-names have been changed to protect their identity, but i still remeber them
2-true story

to stim or not to stim

a couple of weeks ago i thought i had our whole infertile plan (re)-figured out. i got a really bad case of the "i-need-to-try-IVF-now-to-know-if-it-will-work-or-not-or-i-will-have-to-throw-myself-in-front-of-a-bus." i counted out my cycle days no less than 1,467,238 times and concluded that we could fit in a IVF in december right before Christmas. i mean, our deductible was met w/ insurance for the year, so why not, right?

it sounded right and i was so excited for about 10 minutes. then my fear of not finding a job after i graduate in may set in. and something that i found extremely annoying was that the RE that i go to, who is a large practice w/ many RE's, closes the office the entire week of Christmas and new years. wtf is that all about? long story short, we decided to wait until april-may for sure. for sure. i mean it this time. april-may, that's our time. really.

unless i decide to change my mind again because i am impatient. and crazed.

so, i suppose that our decision to wait should make me less fertile-intolerant? i think the first test that i failed was hearing that the pregnant man, who everyone knows is really a woman, is pregnant again. really? i mean (s)he just had a baby in june. and again? now? pregnant? i get it, everyone has the right to start a family, and blah blah blah, but really? i find it as annoying as those fertile superstars, the duggars. it's not so much the fact that (s)he is pregnant again, it's more the fact that i have to see this bearded lady all pregnant again. and, if i'm being honest? it kinda creeps me out. and, i can't even be held accountable for what i might be capable of if i hear anymore about his mangina or duderus.