Thursday, November 27, 2008

trolls and hobbits - oh my

for some reason grad school requires you to have several classes where you must work in groups. i find it ludicrous and extremely annoying. i'm almost 30 for cripes sake, i don't feel like i need to bond with other's over paper writing and project planning.

i've never been good at forced groups. i first found this out in kindergarten when i was forced to sit next to mark the extremely fat kid who breathed all gross, ate glue and had 2 different colored eyes; john, the token smelly booger-picker/eater; and christine, the ratty looking girl whose mother had not yet taught her daughter, or possibly learned herself, about the importance of shampoo and a comb. i was moved after 1 week of refusing to participate in any activities with them b/c, ewww, gross. (1)

then again when i was 8 i was reminded of this fact when i was kicked out of girl scouts after 3 weeks, which was totally fine by me. apparently i have been a smart ass most of my life as i was booted for making fun of some stupid ceremony that we had to do, refusing to hold hands and sing songs in a circle and probably having a general disdain for the entire organization. i only joined b/c we got to get out of class early on some days and it was easy access to my beloved somoas. (2)

which leads me to now. i now have to work w/ 4 other people that i was randomly assigned to (with the exception of 1) to write numerous papers and conjure up all kinds of research crap and plans for implementing new program plans based on what our research shows and blah blah blah. 2 of the girls are straight up useless, lazy dickheads and another, the troll, is a condescending asshole. i understand that she is in a constant state of pissy-ness, what with God making her so ugly and stupid and the fact that pro-active was clearly not an option for her 50 years ago, but really bitch? you're going to send me an email and tell me to use my g-damn spell check b/c your fucking hobbit husband read our paper and said i misspelled words? fuck you and your hobbit. i did use spell check you stupid bitch. had you read the paper yourself instead of having your husband do it while you filed down your horns, you would see that spell check is unfamiliar with much of the medical terminology that was used, as is someone who forages for their food under rotting tree bark and piles of shit. you are a lazy worthless cow. and your disgusting face looks like you belong in a wax museum that lost its air conditioning. oh, and ps - what the fuck is up with your hair, dude. flock of seagulls ring a bell?

1-names have been changed to protect their identity, but i still remeber them
2-true story

9 comments:

'Murgdan' said...

This must be a universal grad school torture trick. It SUCKED. I always had a slack ass group. I always did all the work. I HATE group projects...but I survived and I promise you will too.

Luckily my statistics teacher allowed everyone to GRADE the people in their group for their effort--it was factored into their project grade...and yes, I did give the laziest girl a 0 for her lack of effort...but there she was...graduating right along with me in the end. Incredible that no matter the difference in effort, they seem to let everyone finish in the end.

Hang in there.

Angela said...

That sucks, I feel for you. Mabye you should give the troll a coin to calm her down. I have found that trolls tend to like shiny things, throw a shiny nickel in a bush and leave her to look for it. Should keep her busy for a couple of hours.
good luck!

Annegirrl said...

I'm going back to school to get my degree through an online program. All they do is group projects and papers. I am terrified.

Shereen said...

Ugh. I would do nothing but scowl at troll bitch for the entire rest of the class. You're almost done though! One more semester! I miss you too! My new job sucks ass because they are all a bunch of dumb fucks.

Dagny said...

LMAO.

I also sat next to the booger picker and eater, AND got booted out of girl guides...that is hilarious.

And your story rocked...heh.

xoxo

JennJenn said...

F-ing douche bag losers. I will never understand why god allowed the earth to be populated with so many worthless pieces of crap....oh yeah, job security.

Carla (Kevin's friend) said...

Oh my gosh. Your story was hysterical!! I hate group work! I always get stuck with groups like this too.

Mindy said...

Needed that laugh! Thanks! Sorry I'm so behind on your stuff...but I'm catching up now...

Mindy said...
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