and, just like that...i'm back

assholes are a-plenty.

assholes who know me and my IF issues~

-i'm not sure what i have to do to make pregnant women stop complaining about how miserable they are to me. really, i mean, i am now thinking that the only way i am going to get it to cease is by carving the words "i don't give a fuck and i don't feel sorry for you b/c i am infertile" across my forehead. oh, how i wish i had a forehead the size of tyra banks' for this very instance.
-also, don't say "OMG you don't use the infertile excuse do you?" this was in the context of me talking about how my patients families always ask me if i have kids, why i don't, don't i like kids, don't i want any, and on and on until they see me wrapping the cord to my computer that i am charting on around my neck. so, yes, to avoid answering 1,954,789 questions and having them give me the stink eye b/c they think i don't like kids, especially theirs, i drop the we've been trying for awhile and have had no luck. so, you arrogant fertile asshole who looked appalled when i mentioned this when i was not even talking to you-go fuck yourself.

assholes in clinical~

-asshole #1
while doing a 2 yr old well child check the other week i had to answer annoying questions from a mother who was obviously a fan of the crack pipe. she was asking me things like "why can't i get her to eat more cake and cookies, should i be concerned that she doesn't like to eat that stuff?" you get the picture. anyway, here's the rest of our conversation:
me: (nonchalantly)"do you have any other children"
crack pipe hooker: "8" and then chuckles
me: (quietly crapping in my nice pantaloons) "8!"
crack pipe hooker: "yea, but don't worry, this one is the only one i have custody of."
me: "uggghh, well thank God for that"
crack pipe hooker: "what?"
me: "oh, nothing, just double checking my charting"

-asshole #2
i was seeing a 2 month old for their well child check and the mom who was 21 (i asked) says to me,
skanky fertile: "so, when do you think i should try for another one?" she is asking me this while ignoring her 2 mo old on the exam table and her 5 year old is tearing up the exam room and running his g-damn trucks into my shoes.
me: "what is the hurry, this one is only 2 mo old and you should take some time off of your personal crusade to populate the world with hillbillies to enjoy him."
skanky fertile: "i know, it's just my mom is bothering me to move out and i want another baby and i have a friend who has been trying to have a baby for a couple months and isn't having any luck. i don't want that to be me."
me: "yes, you have to watch that - infertility is very catchy. i would cut all ties w/ her and have sex w/ every man you can find until you are knocked up again. and, who wants their own place! good for you! suck the life out of your mother as long as you can! and, don't worry about me! i love working my ass of in school so i can have a good income and pay for your little ratty bastards! i love it! u go have fun, someone may as well. and, by the way, don't stand too close to me. boogity boogity."

dammit. i really need a new attitude.
and, i love jj;)