i was in love when we first met. within a day i had a noticeable reduction in nausea/vomiting. you seemed to be the answer to my vomit induced prayers. as a matter of fact, if you were a person i totally would have gotten busy with you.
but, less than a week into our love affair you seemed to have moved on to greener pastures. perhaps with someone less fertility challenged. or with less of a lumpy ass.
now you are the equivalent of crotchless underwear or a dick on my forehead- totally useless to me.
*food, i miss you. we are no longer BFF's and i am requesting the other half of our BFF necklace.
**zofran pump, you have been downgraded from "sexy lifesaving hunk" to "straight up undependable asshole."