Monday, May 5, 2008

out with the old, in with the new

first, i apologise for my absence. i've been having as ass-kicking good time with the final 2 weeks of the semester and all.

anyway, we finally went through the IVF papers. it went down like this -
"hey kitten, (that's my nickname for my husband. and?) i filled out most of the paperwork if you want to just look over it." him - "ok" and literally takes 3 minutes to read over the enire packet talking about everything that IVF involves, meds, risks, success rates, what to do w/ the extra embryo's, etc. so, i call to his attn that he totally ignored the page where we have to pick what happens to the embryo's if we get a divorce. he says, "i want them" (clearly still not paying much attn). i said "what in the hell would you do w/ my embryo's?" he says, "i'd have a surrogate carry them, so i can have part of you." i said, "but we're divorced, what will your new wife think?" he says, "what! we're divorced?! i thought you just died. keep your dirty bitch eggs then!" so, we decided: we get divorced - i keep my dirty bitch eggs; i die - he keeps them; we both die - we donate to another couple.

then today i took my medical records release form to my old RE to get all my records so i can take to my new RE b/c for some reason i can't schedule an appt w/ the new RE until they have ALL my records. i can't even schedule for a month from now. grrr. i'm also filling out a complimentary 5 day stool diary complete with pictorials for fun. anyway, it was like 12:50pm which apparently means that i need to stand like an asshole at the counter for no less than 15 minutes before someone helps me, even though there are people behind the counter walking back and forth. then, the secretary, who can only be described as the modern day 'mimi' from drew carey comes out to assist me. i ask how long she thinks it will be before i can pick up my records and she looks up at me and says, "well, you know so and so is at lunch. i'll have to have her call you." then she gives me a look of a traitor b/c she reads that the release is for the cleveland clinic and says, "well, you might get charged $35 for your records." oh, shit - $35! OMG! it's totally not worth saving thousands of dollars on IVF for! i said that's fine and she again reminded me that people were at lunch. ok, beotch, i get it - people are eating. who cares, just get my shit. it's also cinco fucking de mayo. i'm late for getting fucked up and making out w/ a one-eared, crazy-eyed donkey pinata while wearing a sombrero.


andrea said...

love it - cinco de mayo rocks, if only it wasn't always at the end of the semester....

i also got hit on by a strange mexian waiter while drinking a rasberry marg. - he thought me and my twin sister were "together" not just on the same bill.... nniiicee!

Jen said...

Siete de Mayo! Am going to get drunk. Wanna come over?

Good for you for getting your records and getting things moving. And I'm glad those bitches didn't charge you!